Ads 468x60px

Where Does That Leave Me?

When I was first seriously considering the possibility that the Church wasn’t the one and only true Church I immediately sought out where this leaves me spiritually. Where exactly does this leave me in relation to God? Jesus Christ? This quickly became my next big focus.

Because if I were to reject the Mormon faith, what kind of faith would I end up with?

I vividly remember my first interaction with Bob McCue. I was on the phone with him, explaining my situation. He was one of a select few that offered a listening ear and some very sound advice to me in my time of need. One of the first things I asked him was where he was spiritually now that he has left the Church. He was very hesitant and responded, “I suppose I’m agnostic. But I find that question very difficult to answer.”

In a lot of ways, his answer scared me. So, if someone as smart as Bob hasn’t come to a concise conclusion about who or what God is, what does that mean for me?

Does this mean that I may come to the possible conclusion that God may not exist? I can’t even for a second let that thought enter in my mind. I just can’t. No. That would mean no afterlife. That would mean those that have passed on, I will never see again. Ever. I can’t accept that. That is something that I just can’t entertain. Well, at least right now.

So I’ve done some soul searching of my own. I did some research on a few other religions and the Bible as well and my outcome isn’t that far off from Bob McCue’s thoughts. Part of my problem is that I now approach religion with a skeptic mindset and that doesn’t help my quest for where God fits in my life. I didn’t intend for that to happen, it just did.

As of today, I believe in God. But I do know that God isn’t the interactive, personal God that Mormonism defines him as. I see God as a very “hands off” kind of God. So, in the end I guess that makes me agnostic of sorts. I imagine that my mind will definitely change in the future, but who knows.

Having to restructure your faith from a complete collapse of your former belief is very difficult. Most I know never fully reclaim a belief in God like they once did. I still don’t know where that leaves me; I guess time will tell.

2 comments:

JackUK said...

Hey Tom, you and I seem to be in a similar place right now. I define myself as an 'Enquiring Mormon Agnostic'. I keep my beliefs minimal because so many of the models that Mormonism gives us just no longer seem to make sense to me. However I can't shake off the feeling that there is purpose in this experience I'm going through, even though I'm not sure where the hell I am spiritually! I still feel there is a Supreme Being, and surprisingly I still feel a connection to the divine during the sacrament.

Maybe when I've figured things out I'll share my thoughts in a post somewhere...thats if I ever figure things out...

Shop Steward said...

Jack,

You should share your thoughts! I would love to hear them. And if you ever need a place to share, let me officially offer you a place/home right here. No pressure of course, but I think you could offer a very different perspective that would be helpful to many. Keep in touch!

Post a Comment

who we are

Welcome to The Peacewriter.

We all want to belong somewhere, to someone. It is a basic human need.

If you have ever experienced a period of doubt or questioned your beliefs in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, you know that this is not a minor thing. It is tantamount to a crisis, and one that can be life altering.

Lose your testimony, and you stand to lose everything that matters.

There are those who exist on the fringes of the Church, who feel disenfranchised, even unwanted. If you are single, gay or lesbian, feminist, atheist, or uncorrelated, it can be tough to feel like a part of the community. You may feel that you do not belong.

You belong here.

If you have ever loved someone who endured a faith crisis, you know that there are a lot of gray areas. Uncertainty is the dominant force; black and white become moot points.

Those who have walked the same path share a common bond, understood by few who have not traveled the same road.

This is the place to share common experiences, to find a voice, to be heard. This is the place to seek after peace, and to find it in the common ties we share.

This is The Peacewriter.


Please visit, and visit often. We intend to post new submissions regularly. If you want to contact us directly, click on the Contact Page or email us at thepeacewriter@gmail.com.


We welcome your feedback and submissions.