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What I Know Since Losing My Religion

I know what the very elect look like.
I know what an apostate looks like.
I know the view from a great and spacious building.
I know what shafts of wheat look like blowing in the wind.

What no one told me was that when I looked in the mirror and saw all these People looking back at me, that I would do so in peace, and with a sense of Freedom that I have never known before.
They warned me about the pain that would befall those who lose their faith. What they didn’t mention was that the source of that pain would come from Their collective rejection, not Gods.
No one told me it would take discovering the truth to become the very people I had been warned about.

-St. Jude

4 comments:

lifelongguy said...

it's a huge mess. I agree. It hurts to have the same doctrines that once provided comfort thrown back at you as weapons that cause great hurt. I am trying on my own blog to find a voice of the positives and freedoms and peace that comes with walking away, but I also know that there is much, much pain - and most of that pain is born by those around me that expected something from me that I can no longer deliver. That hurts more than anything else.

Lady Wisdom said...

Wow! that poem is really pulling on one's soul. I ran into my former VT's yesterday at a funeral. One gave me a dirty look, like how dare I show up or come into the chapel or something, the other a kind smile. Hugs to you.

jen said...

Wow is right. I like this. I think my favorite part is, "What no one told me was that when I looked in the mirror and saw all these People looking back at me, that I would do so in peace,"

I NEVER could have believed I would feel peace - especially since I had never known it before.

Stephanie D. Edwards said...

"It hurts to have the same doctrines that once provided comfort thrown back at you as weapons that cause great hurt."

Wow. I never thought of it quite like that before.

What I love about this poem is the voice that it gives to the struggle, while providing hope. Great words.

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who we are

Welcome to The Peacewriter.

We all want to belong somewhere, to someone. It is a basic human need.

If you have ever experienced a period of doubt or questioned your beliefs in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, you know that this is not a minor thing. It is tantamount to a crisis, and one that can be life altering.

Lose your testimony, and you stand to lose everything that matters.

There are those who exist on the fringes of the Church, who feel disenfranchised, even unwanted. If you are single, gay or lesbian, feminist, atheist, or uncorrelated, it can be tough to feel like a part of the community. You may feel that you do not belong.

You belong here.

If you have ever loved someone who endured a faith crisis, you know that there are a lot of gray areas. Uncertainty is the dominant force; black and white become moot points.

Those who have walked the same path share a common bond, understood by few who have not traveled the same road.

This is the place to share common experiences, to find a voice, to be heard. This is the place to seek after peace, and to find it in the common ties we share.

This is The Peacewriter.


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